The great and very hip Puff Daddy once threatened us for weeks on TRL: "Vote or Die".
Like myself, most people watching MTV at the time weren't old enough to vote yet. Why couldn't we just watch Korn, Snoop, and Britney duke it out for the #1 spot? What's a constituency?
Are we in danger Puff?
He could be anywhere right now so let's just vote for something. If you had to decide the election right now.... who would you vote for? Your decision may decide the fate of the universe for the next four years. And we're dying to know how this movie ends.
Take a deep breath and go with your gut - your heart - your brain - whichever combination of organs you like using for executive decision making. Muster up that dense library of political fun-fact, so tediously obtained through the all-knowing holy outlets: CNN, Fox News, Vice, Politico, WAPO, Huffpo, Atlantic, Salon, Buzzfeed; think of all those Facebook comments. (what grandma's been posting lately). Think of the Breitbart nation. Vote with your love, your anger, and your conspiracy theories.
*If by chance you haven't been paying attention to any of this election absurdity, you've got a really good thing going on! Can we hang out? We could definitely learn from your Zen-like wisdom - but vote in our mock poll anyways.... If that's chill with you.